DC

So lately my sleep schedule has been way out of whack and I'll admit I haven't tried that hard to correct it.  I stay up until like 3 in the morning, sometimes later, and will sleep in til about noon.  Ridiculous.  But it works because I usually have work from 2-10.  Somedays I think it'd be nice to get up at a normal time like 9, but I just can't seem to get myself out of bed then.

Anyway, last night I tried to go to bed a little earlier, and by that I mean 2:30, haha, but I just layed there thinking.  I ended up turning the light back on and writing a letter to a friend of mine.  I miss him a lot.  For some reason, which I think I know but do not understand, he won't talk to me.  (He's supposedly embarrassed about something he did.)  I don't get what the big deal is though.  He knows all my dirt and I know his, but that's what good friends are for, they look past that and love you anyway. We haven't talked since like July.  I've talked to his brothers, which is nice because they're a lot of fun too, but I wish he would call me.  I don't even have an address to send the letter to.  I'll have to call his brother tomorrow and see if he has it.  Why do people do this?  We were really really good friends and nothing happened between us for him to get upset or anything.  He's just severed ties with everything.  He won't even talk to his mom.  I'm kind of mad at him, but I'm worried and concerned too.  Mostly I just miss him though.  He's one of those people who ALWAYS make you laugh.  At least I thought he was hilarious!  We even hopped across the crosswalks in Santa Monica like Elf! hahaha!  He's someone I could completely be myself around, faults and all and it didn't matter. Those people are rare in this world. 

I'm terrible at letting go of people I care about.  Unfortunately you can't make people do things.  Sometimes I sure wish I could though!  Or that they would just listen!!!  I left the FUNNIEST voicemail for him, I even did it on his brother's answering machine (he was living with his bro at the time), which means I care about him a lot if I'm gonna let other people hear me being super goofy!  I thought for sure he would respond to that, but he didn't.  I guess I just have to wait for time to do it's thing.   I hope he comes around.  I hope he at least knows someone's rooting him on, whatever he's doing, and that I love him and believe in him.