Check it out!

My blog actually looks like a REAL blog now!  It looks like I actually know what I'm doing now! haha.  Cute, huh?  I like it. 

New favorite song, "Johnny and June" by Heidi Newfield.



I just love it. I don't love the singer, just the song.

Retail Holidays

I am exhausted!  I feel like I could sleep for a week!  I definitely am not a fan of working retail during the holidays.  I can't wait for it to be over!  I feel like such a grinch.  I don't like it.  Christmas is supposed to be about spending time with your family and friends, but I've been working constantly.  Not to mention I now have plantar faciitis which just makes me more grumpy because it's so painful.  My feet hurt SO bad!  And I am SO sick of some of the seasonal hires at our store.  Two people in particular.  They're like Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dumb.  My patience is completely shot and I'm having a hard time being nice.  I think I need to take a week off.  I wish I could.  At least I like my boss and my friend Alex works with me now.  That makes it a little more bearable.  Wish me luck!  Last Saturday before Christmas...it's gonna be hell!

DC

So lately my sleep schedule has been way out of whack and I'll admit I haven't tried that hard to correct it.  I stay up until like 3 in the morning, sometimes later, and will sleep in til about noon.  Ridiculous.  But it works because I usually have work from 2-10.  Somedays I think it'd be nice to get up at a normal time like 9, but I just can't seem to get myself out of bed then.

Anyway, last night I tried to go to bed a little earlier, and by that I mean 2:30, haha, but I just layed there thinking.  I ended up turning the light back on and writing a letter to a friend of mine.  I miss him a lot.  For some reason, which I think I know but do not understand, he won't talk to me.  (He's supposedly embarrassed about something he did.)  I don't get what the big deal is though.  He knows all my dirt and I know his, but that's what good friends are for, they look past that and love you anyway. We haven't talked since like July.  I've talked to his brothers, which is nice because they're a lot of fun too, but I wish he would call me.  I don't even have an address to send the letter to.  I'll have to call his brother tomorrow and see if he has it.  Why do people do this?  We were really really good friends and nothing happened between us for him to get upset or anything.  He's just severed ties with everything.  He won't even talk to his mom.  I'm kind of mad at him, but I'm worried and concerned too.  Mostly I just miss him though.  He's one of those people who ALWAYS make you laugh.  At least I thought he was hilarious!  We even hopped across the crosswalks in Santa Monica like Elf! hahaha!  He's someone I could completely be myself around, faults and all and it didn't matter. Those people are rare in this world. 

I'm terrible at letting go of people I care about.  Unfortunately you can't make people do things.  Sometimes I sure wish I could though!  Or that they would just listen!!!  I left the FUNNIEST voicemail for him, I even did it on his brother's answering machine (he was living with his bro at the time), which means I care about him a lot if I'm gonna let other people hear me being super goofy!  I thought for sure he would respond to that, but he didn't.  I guess I just have to wait for time to do it's thing.   I hope he comes around.  I hope he at least knows someone's rooting him on, whatever he's doing, and that I love him and believe in him. 

Follow up to "Just Thinking"

Ok, so I know the post was a while ago, but I just wanted to share an interesting story about it.  The night I wrote it I was obviously upset, but trying to be optimistic.  Well, the next night was Monday and I decided to go to FHE at the WC3 ward for the first time since I've been up here.  I very rarely go to FHE and even more rarely go for the lesson, but, there I was.  And interestingly enough it was all about what I had written in my blog the night before.  Everything about you being the only variable you can control and deciding whether or not to be happy.  We talked about agency and how the choice is ours to react positively or negatively to what happens to or around us.  It really hit me as a confirmation to what I already knew, but was starting to forget.  Heavenly Father knows us so well, and He knows what we need, even if we don't ask for it.  I certainly didn't.  It amazes me that through all the mistakes I've made and yes, sometimes keep making, He keeps loving you, me.  That He never gives up.  He still loves us even when we don't feel like we deserve it.  I don't know that I'll ever be able to fully comprehend His love, but I am grateful for it.

Trying to figure out how to post pics and vids

Grammy and Ryan

 

 

Just Thinking

I know why it's so hard for me to keep a blog, or even a journal for that matter.  It's because the times I feel like writing are usually the times I'm feeling down.  And who wants the world to see you when you're not feeling so great?  I don't.  I don't even want to remind myself of how often I don't feel optimistic, hence hardly ever writing in a journal.  Don't get me wrong, I have a lot of optimistic times too, I just don't write then. So when you look through a journal or a blog of mine most of what you read is me not being happy.  I guess I have a new habit to form...writing about the positive things in life.  And there are a lot, I just get blinded by tunnel vision sometimes.

 I start my ceramics class at Civic Arts Education tomorrow morning.  I don't know why I'm always so nervous the first time I go back.  It's been about a year since I've been on the wheel or done anything with clay.  I had signed up for a class last fall at Santa Monica College but then I totaled my car... My wrist was hurt from the accident for about a month which made it impossible for me to throw on the wheel and transportation without a car was such a hassle that I ended up dropping the class.  I was VERY upset.  So, I'm excited to get back into it.  There's always so much more to learn!  I'm really glad I decided to sign up for the class.  I'm just happier when I'm creating and doing something.  Granted, not everyday is a success at the studio, some days you spend hours hunched over the wheel and accomplish nothing.  But when you do finally get it right it's so worth it.  It feels amazing when you finally learn how to control the clay and feel it take shape in your hands, to not have to struggle with it, but actually work with it. 

I wish I felt that way with everything in life, but with somethings I just don't want to keep going through the struggle in order to learn how to make it work.  I want to just fast forward and not have to learn each step.  And some days I just want to give up altogether and literally (and I guess figuratuvely too) throw the clay. Life is hard.  I wish it was easier.  Sometimes I look at other people's lives and get bitter because I feel like they have it so easy and their life is so good.  Sometimes it really isn't fair and othertimes I might be the one with the upperhand.  I don't really know if there's a rhyme or reason to why things happen the way they do.  I guess I'm supposed to believe there is, I suppose that in itself is a way to make it easier on oneself.  It's less depressing to think that there's a reason you go through what you do.  I do know, however, that all your experiences and what you go through and how you decide to handle it help you to become the person you are.  Just because you might have a negative situation doesn't mean that the outcome can't be positive.  You can't control what happens around you, or what happens to you, YOU are the only variable you can control, and by controlling that you get to decide what the outcome will be.  Now if only I could always remember that.

LA Reminiscing

Wow. There are so many options of how to do your blog, I'm a bit overwhelmed. I wonder if I'll ever take the time to actually figure all this stuff out.

So, a quick recap...

I moved back home to Walnut Creek almost two weeks ago. It was and is bittersweet. Economically I know it was the right thing to do, but socially it's been really tough. I had a going away/birthday party in LA before I left and it was so much fun. Friends from church and work were there which made it that much better to have everyone I care about in the same place.

I had been really optimistic about the move all the way leading up to it. I wasn't sad or upset on my last day of work, or while packing all of my stuff, or during the party. Not until it dwindled down to just me, RA, Dan and Nathan. Dan left, but that was ok because I would see him the next day. But when Nathan said goodbye, it was the first one that actually felt like a real goodbye (even though I know I'll see him and everyone again) but I guess that's when it hit me, that I was actually leaving, and I started to get teary. Life in LA was "over", I knew I was closing a chapter in my life. So, it was hard. Definitely made me sad. And I miss it. I can't wait to go back and visit, but I know it won't be the same. Four years...who would have thought? Growing up I would have never thought I would ever live in LA, and like it!

So, here are some of my LA favorites:

Favorite Moments:

• Riding bikes to the beach with Ruth-Ann in the summer, almost killing myself and causing a couple near accidents. Riding a bike down Santa Monica Blvd is HARD! I think we were both surprised that I survived with only a badly stubbed toe. Oh, and visiting Mikey at P.F. Chang's on the way and having seared ahi for the first time!
• Riding in the passenger seat of the porsche boxster with the roof down, sunglasses on, hair blowing in the wind, boyfriend next to me, and smile on my face. It didn't matter where we were going when we were in that car, it was always a good time! I loved showing up for church in it though! haha. And of course, one of my favorite outtings was when we drove out to Malibu just before sunset and went to dinner at Gladstones. We even went for a walk on the beach while waiting to be seated. So much fun!
  
• Getting free tickets for the Laugh Factory and going with 4 of my favorite guys only to find out it was gay comedy night! It was HILARIOUS!!!! Not entirely appropriate, but thoroughly entertaining!
  
• Squishing in the front seat of Ben's car between him and Nahum for late night outtings. Yes there was a seatbelt, I even had to show the cop!
• Falling asleep with friends, or just on them, while pointlessly staying up watching movies.
• Nahum's mashed potatoes. 'Nuff said.
• Hanging out at Mike and Trevor and Danny's apartment. They make me laugh SO hard! Their other roommate hated me because I would be over late and couldn't keep myself from laughing and would always wake him up. One night Liz and I were over and we were all battling with the Mashoonga!s and Trevor made Mikey fall back onto his bed and the bed broke! Then Danny, with his perfect comedic timing, shouted out, "You don't even have a bed! You are one pathetic loser!" (From Dumb and Dumber). I nearly died laughing. (My profile pic is actually from that night right after that happened.) They are three of my favorite men. I love them. LA wasn't the same after they left.
• Playing racquetball at the UCLA gym with Duncan. We never kept score or really even played by the rules, but we ALWAYS had fun. I usually came back with some sort of injury I had inflicted upon myself.
• The way TP says my name. (Only Laurel will understand that.)
• Bonfires at Doc Weiller.
• Watching fireworks on the Fourth of July at the beach and Mr. Patriotic in his tiny red white and blue speedo in Venice. (Wish I had a picture of that!)
• Pumpkin Chocolate drinks from Coffee Bean in the fall and winter! Nathan is a genius!
• Late night chats with Ruth-Ann and giggling in bed. I'm glad she was still my friend even though I ripped up love notes and refused to tell her stories. ;) One of my favorites was leaving messages on the mirror in lipstick. I'm glad she was my roommate!

Favorite Restaurants:

• The Griddle - Delicious pancakes that are GINORMOUS! Each one is bigger than your plate and they give you three! Last time Ben and I decided to just share, he ate two and I had one. Even then we both were barely able to finish and were full for the rest of the day.
• Cafe 50s - My favorite diner! I love the casual environment and all the decor. They have board games you can play while waiting for your food, including Sorry, Operation, Battleship, and my personal favorite, Connect Four! It was always exciting when I could beat Dan, he's amazingly good at that game! Oh, and they always have a fun paper to read with random tidbits such as where the phrase "Mind your p's and q's" came from. Do any of you know??
• Ruth's Chris - A-MAZING!!! Dan took me there for my 23rd birthday...need I say it was the best birthday EVER?! haha. We both had the ribeye, and I have never before or since had such a beautiful piece of meat! (For those of you who may not know, I LOVE steak! When I was little we were on a road trip and drove by some cows, my mom pointed them out to me saying, "Look Carly, cows!" Everyone was quite surprised when I then replied, "mmm, steak!" while rubbing my tummy, instead of simply making a 'moo' sound like most little kids may have responded!)
• Tito's Tacos - The BEST tacos you will find in LA. At least in my opinion. Cash only though so make sure you go prepared.
  
• Versailles - A popular Cuban restaurant with great fried sweet plantains and really good tres leches cake.
• Le Petit Four - A cute little restaurant on the Sunset Strip that serves the BEST calamari! I also like how the outside dining is very European with everyone sitting so close to each other and all the tables connected. Last time I went there the ladies sitting next to us insisted that we try some of the Escargot they ordered! It actually wasn't too bad!